Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
