Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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