Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
