My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize