u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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