I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
