I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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