Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
