Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
