i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
