i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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