I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
