I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
bring money and cleavage
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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