Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
