can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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