i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
