Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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