just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
