Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
