hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
