my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
