If i come over, it means nothing
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
