so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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