Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
