if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
