Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
