Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
