fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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