I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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