There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
