Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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