my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize