idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
