Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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