Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's Friday. Sex?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wish there were birth control emojis
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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