So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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