fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
