she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
