I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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