some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
