Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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