Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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