Apparently you make a good broom.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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