Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
