i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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