as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
