I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
