She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
