I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
