dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
where am i from again
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
