Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Enjoy the penises
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
