On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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