She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
