just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
