I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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