I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My pussy is not your playground.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
