They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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