in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
