found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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