This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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