Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
