nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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