that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
